Life Without Baby

Filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Rules to Live By January 13, 2011

(This post was originally scheduled for last Saturday, but apparently I forgot to hit “publish.” Apologies to those of you who came looking for a new post last weekend and got nothing.)

I’ve been reading Whole Living magazine lately. I find the articles interesting and it’s one of the few women’s magazines I’ve found that isn’t focused on children. Refreshing.

What’s also refreshing is that, along with their Mission Statement, they also post their Ten Tenets of Whole Living. You can read them here:

These are a couple of personal favorites:

#1 Happiness is a choice. Make that choice today and every day.

I’ve spent a good chunk of the past few years feeling sorry for myself because I can’t have children. But I’ve come to appreciate the life I am able to have because of my childlessness. I’m pretty happy with this life and, if the opportunity presented itself to become a mother, I am no longer sure I would take it.

#5 Laugh at yourself. You’re funny.

Never a truer word spoken. It’s so easy to take yourself oh so seriously, but really life is pretty ridiculous. Case in point: I married a man who couldn’t have children. We spent five years trying to fix that, only to discover that I was infertile. Not funny at the time, but the irony isn’t lost on me now.

#9 It’s never too late to take the first step toward your aspirations.

When she was in her 60’s, my mum graduated with a bachelor’s degree in science and learned to drive. Anyone who tells you you’re too old to follow your dreams deserves a poke in the eye.

What are some of your tenets, rules that you choose to live by?


7 Responses to “Rules to Live By”

  1. Christy Says:

    My tentets:

    1. Wear what you want.
    Not only did nobody notice what shirt you wore last Tuesday, nobody noticed that you wore it again Monday.

    2. It’s okay not to speak your mind.
    Sometimes when you know you’re right and you also know your point will fall on deaf ears, it’s less stressful to stifle it than it is to argue.

    3. LET IT GO.
    Somebody cut you off at the intersection? So what. The neighbor’s kid let her dog relieve himself in your yard and didn’t clean it up? Whatever. Your boss made a big deal about everybody else’s birthday but forgot yours. GOOD GOD… WHO CARES?!?

    4. Live comfortably in between.
    You can’t be all good. You’re not all bad. Find a cozy spot between the two and allow for variance.

  2. Laura Nye Says:

    Something I wish I remembered more often is: Don’t take things personally. I guess that’s the same thing as Christy’s #3 – Let It Go.

    Thank you for sharing the magazine tip, Lisa. It’s something to add to my mental “Childless Survival Guide”.

  3. Elena Says:

    I’m not so sure about this kind of recommendations. They always make me feel that if i didn’t achieve something, it’s my fault, i just wasn’t focused/balanced/whatever enough.”What you pay attention to will thrive”? Oh well so i just didn’t pay enough attention on my wish for getting pregnant?
    it might even be true (for example i didn’t quit smoking while trying….) but is that helpful in any way? sorry for being negative. Are we allowed to be?
    “It’s ok to feel bad and look the negative things in the eye, (as long as we don’t allow them to overwhelm us)”, is a very important rule for me….. I guess Christie’s rule No4 probably is a way out of this dilemma.

  4. Mali Says:

    Good list. I do like the “happiness is a choice” and it is something I remind myself of regularly, as I also forget it regularly!

    One of my key rules is:

    Define “success” your way. Don’t live to others’ definitions of “success.”

  5. lmanterfield Says:

    Thanks for adding to the list with your own “rules.” A couple of these have popped into my head over the past week, not least of which was “let it go.” I did.

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