Life Without Baby

Filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

It Got Me Thinking…About Minivans August 7, 2012

This post was originally published on February 22, 2011

By Kathleen Guthrie Woods

Aside from the obvious fears of pregnancy and childbirth – related pains and complications, what I dreaded most about becoming a mom someday was the transition from hot babe to minivan driver. Whenever friends waxed poetical about their automatic sliding doors, roomy seats, and safety features (really?), I wanted to gag. Not me. No way. Never, I thought.

Be careful what you wish for, right?

But now that I know there will be no children to haul around, I’m excited to rediscover a whole wonderful world of fun cars. And because I won’t be funding anyone’s college education (see “Money” post), it’s possible I could pull one out of my garage some day. Here are a few I’m ogling:

Sure the red-hot Mercedes-Benz SLK-Class screams midlife crisis, but who cares?! It’s gorgeous! “With a retractable hardtop that transforms it from coupe to open roadster in 22 seconds,” it allows me to imagine I could be the next Danica Patrick, hair flowing in the wind as I zoom around the track…or just out to dinner. I also love that the description includes “Seats 2 adults.” Yup, that’s us.

The 2011 Jeep Wrangler has a tagline that reads, “The Ultimate Experience for the Person who Wants Freedom to Explore.” And because there’s no one in the backseat being cranky, I can go wherever I want, whenever I want. That’s Freedom, baby!

Porsche now makes family-friendly vehicles, including the 4-door Cayenne hybrid. They’re stylish, I think, but my heart still belongs to the classic Boxster. Top down, a drive along the coast, Beyonce on the stereo. No room for packing a playpen, stroller, or quilted bag filled with “entertainment” and drippy snacks for the kids. P-a-r-a-d-i-s-e.

I’m sure the marketing execs at Harley-Davidson hired supermodel Marisa Miller to entice men of all shapes and sizes to buy a motorcycle, but I’m here to tell them that I’m also looking to pick up the bling, boots, pants, and leather jacket she’s wearing. (Are they washable? It doesn’t matter!)

Gullwing doors, plush leather seats, a stereo system that automatically ejects songs performed by The Wiggles…. So many fabulous possibilities. Vrooom!

Kathleen Guthrie Woods is a Northern California–based freelance writer. She currently gets around in a hip Scion xB.


7 Responses to “It Got Me Thinking…About Minivans”

  1. Lane Says:

    Listening to the PHONEY laments of girlfriends who complain about having to drive a mini van!! YUCK!! They love it, it’s the “club” car! If you don’t drive one you’re not in the club! Hate the PHONEY complaining!! And by the way, my jeep wrangler ROCKS!! I like to imagine that on some level they are jealous of my bright yellow, adult only surfer girl jeep, stretch mark free abs and freedom to eat whenever and whatever I want, chicken fingers need NOT be on the menu!!!!!

  2. RuralRabbit Says:

    We bought a small SUV soon after we got married, thinking it was going to be a family car. After our journey was over we were both thrilled to get rid of the SUV and get a fun, sporty car.

  3. Maria Says:

    I bought a 4 door corolla in 1997 thinking it would be useful when we had children. It died in 2005 and I remember thinking about why I bought it and how it was never used once for that purpose. So, in 2005 after we stopped TTC, we bought a 1970 Dodge Charger and fully restored it to a hot rod. It’s sparkly hot red witha 440 engine. We only drive it on Sundays and to car shows but when we do, we blast our favorite tunes from the 70s and people stop and stare and give us the thumbs up because it is so gorgeous. Was the greatest thing we ever did.

  4. Heather Says:

    As soon as we got married, we traded in my sporty 1999 mercury cougar (don’t laugh, it was a hot car when it first came out) for a new 2004 ford explorer thinking I needed a mom mobile (talk about putting the cart before the horse!). After giving up on TTC I hated the explorer because it was a constant reminder of what was never to be. I now drive a honda accord but one day I think I will get a hot little sports car. Wheeeee

  5. Jennifer Says:

    We were those people who defied the stereotype and bought a minvan even though we didn’t have kids and knew we weren’t going to be able to have kids. I needed a vehicle to haul my musical instruments and equipment often, plus we took several road trips during that time, taking other people and lots of stuff with us. We really did use that thing. But then I went back to school and needed something with better gas mileage. So we got rid of our minivan and bought my Ford Focus. And I absolutely love it.

  6. Elena Says:

    Public transport rulez. And yeah, I’m glad to ride on the train nice and quiet with my book, ipod and/or work instead of having to look after several toddlers simultaneously crying, eating biscuits and leaving crumbles everywhere, running up and down the aisles and stepping on the seats with their shoes on.

  7. Wendy Wallace Says:

    Mercedes Kompressor for me but my husband says I can’t have one. He’s offered to buy me a air compressor at Fleet Farm. I plan on finding a way to buy one with cash, even if it’s a used one.

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