Life Without Baby

Filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Happy Independence Day! July 4, 2012

Happy 4th of July!

If you’re tuning in from outside the U.S. you may be scratching your head and wondering what the heck happened to Whiny Wednesday. Well, it’s still here, fear not. But today is also Independence Day and just about the biggest holiday of the year here.

I am claiming my independence from whining today. I’m heading to the beach and then I’m off to the Hollywood Bowl for what may prove to be the highlight of my summer…Barry Manilow, LIVE!

Hey! You can say what you want about me, but I will not stand for any besmirching of my Barry, thank you very much.

If you need a whine (and your mouth isn’t too full of hot dogs,) go ahead. I’ll be back with my old attitude next week.

courtesy: Hollywood Bowl

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9 Responses to “Happy Independence Day!”

  1. One of the people who do understand, at least to a degree, my pain of no children in my MIL. I know she hurts, too, that we don’t have kids. But one of the reasons she understands is that her daughter Laura died in a car accident when the Laura was in her 20s. My MIL lost not only the daughter, but any grandchildren who would have come, as well.

    Today is the birthday of Laura, who would be my SIL. I never met her, she died a few years before i met my husband. My MIL stated to me a few days ago that this day is hard for her, and even more so because all her family is celebrating but no one seems to remember that it was Laura’s BD.

    My MIL also understands that this week was hard for me because all the cousins – my husband’s step-family’s children – were together for the week. The youngest is now 6, born in March. He is 3 months older than our Kaylee would be, and sometimes it is hard to watch all the cousins and not ask, “Where is my daughter?” I remember how much fun it was to be with my cousins growing up. That we will not have any children to join those cousins pains me, too.

    I think our culture does not deal well with loss in any form, whether it is the loss of pregnancy or loss of fertility or the loss of another person.

    I’ve told my MIL i like to think Laura is in heaven caring for our Kaylee (and Katie, another child in the family lost early). I don’t know if it helps us much, but it is a pretty picture.

  2. S Says:

    Found out that some friends are expecting. They married recently. He’s older and wanted to start a family asap. She wasn’t so sure. We’ll she’s sure expecting now. My sister-in-law (who knows them better) was telling us about the good news. I was happy FOR them as they are great people. However, it was a small stab to my jealous heart.

    Then I felt the anger as our sister in law told us about this OTHER person was going to be upset because she will be the only one in that particular group of friends that won’t have a baby on the way.

    I don’t know about that OTHER persons issues however, I’m assuming it’s medical and my heart goes out to her. These are young women just starting out and they do everything together. My SIL continues to tell me about how she told this person to relax, and assured her that God has a plan, etc. She made a flip comment to me about this other person is being silly with her fretting.

    I was annoyed for two reasons. That she sits there with two beautiful children (with which she had uneventful and comfortable pregnancies and delivery) pretending she’s God’s assistant and has the authority to assures this person that it WILL happen for her and that she only needs to relax.

    I’m also annoyed because this SIL (who is quite familiar with my situation) has the gall to prattle on about this whole thing and express her sympathy for this other person and not even think that I might have feelings on the subject. To be 100% fair – I do not have a medical problem, my issues are marital. And maybe she thinks I don’t want kids anyway. After all, her children are not well behaved and I do gravitate more towards my other nieces and nephews.

    Anyway, there it is. Life passing me by. I’m just a 37 year old woman watching a 24 year old embark on a fabulous journey that I’m not even close to taking.

    • S Says:

      Then I checked out People website and found out Matthew McConaughy and his wife are expect #3! Then this morning a client emailed me and said she is expecting – twins! Feel like not answering the phone today.

      • Maria Says:

        I hate people like your SIL. I know many people like that. It’s so hard to sit there and say nothing and I usually do. You should speak up next time and tell her how you feel – take her aside and do it privately so it doesn’t look like you are saying it just to embarass her. I have been trying that lately and it is very empowering even if they still don’t get it.

      • S Says:

        Yeah I usually wimp out around the in-laws. The only thing I said was, “yeah, SOMETIMES it happens for people.” My mother in law, who is more sensitive to the problems and issues in my marriage quickly changed the subject. I do need to grow a back bone with some of these people. Probably wouldn’t matter with her though.

  3. Maria Says:

    Lisa – just wanted to tell you that I love Barry Manilow too.For my birthday, I asked my husband to buy tickets to his next concert in our area next time he tours through.

  4. j thorne Says:

    I am a loyal “Fanilow” also – saw him live several years ago and he was great!

  5. IrisD Says:

    I Love Barry, too!! 🙂

  6. loribeth Says:

    Also love Barry. : ) I remember watching one of his concerts on PBS a few years ago, & singing loudly along to all the songs! ; )


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