Life Without Baby

Filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Whiny Wednesday: Sanctuary March 14, 2012

Last week, determined to launch myself into some kind of exercise routine, I signed up at a local fitness studio for a month of unlimited pilates, yoga, and zumba.

At my first class I tentatively took my place on the floor and hoped the class wouldn’t be too torturous. It was, but not because of the exertion. It was painful because of the teacher, who talked through the entire class about her teething toddler.

Can there be no sanctuary anymore? Not just for me and the other childless women in the class, but also for the women who have teething toddlers of their own at home and who finally got out of the house for a peaceful hour and then have to hear all about this woman’s drama. Not professional.

Fortunately, it was tough class, physically, so I (and a few others I suspect) was able to let out a few audible groans and get away with it. And I’ve crossed her classes off my schedule.

It’s Whiny Wednesday, time to let out some own audible groans of your own.

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16 Responses to “Whiny Wednesday: Sanctuary”

  1. Kate B Says:

    Oh let me whine! The bitch is back! After two and a half months without a period, she showed up yesterday afternoon. I’m not happy. I am okay with the concept of menopause starting. I am not okay with the concept that periods will arrive randomly with little or no warning. Not happy. Not happy at all.

    • Kellie Says:

      I am right on board with you sister….after my last IVF almost 10 months ago, it took 6 months to get my period, then I had to wait another 2 months for it to come again – with no warning at all. It sucks!

  2. Jessica Says:

    First I want to say I love reading everyone’s comments etc it’s been a source of encouragement for me! I apologize for my first post being a complaint but here goes.

    Went to get my nail done with my best fried yesterday which was great because I don’t see much of her.. She has two little boys who keep her busy. I sit down and the lady doing my nails starts a conversation with me. She asks me if I have any kids. No, no kids. How long have you been married? Six years. That’s a long time, and no kids? No, no kids. Well have you been to the doctor about it? Yes I have and we can’t have children and I’m learning to live with that.
    I know she probably didn’t mean to be rude but again it was a reminder.

  3. loribeth Says:

    Kate, she is visiting me too. :p I knew she was coming because I could not get out of bed on Saturday morning — every time I opened my eyes, the room started spinning around me. :p (It’s happened once or twice before, pre-Aunt Flo, but this was probably the worst.) I did eventually manage to regain some equilibrium, but my Saturday plans were shot. Bitch indeed…!

  4. jeopardygirl Says:

    Why do the neighbour’s kids choose MY portion of the front lawn to play in when there is a playground next door, and a large backyard? And, I’d really like it if they’d stop taunting my cats. Fred just ignores them, but Willy visibly shakes before he runs and hides. No comments to their parents have achieved anything. It’s March Break, and the weather has been beautiful here, so it’s been worse than even in the summer this week.

    • Kathleen Says:

      I feel your pain. I live in a triplex and my door shares the “stoop” with my neighbor’s door. Virtually EVERY night when she comes home with her bratty kids, the little boy (5) RINGS MY DOORBELL. And I have dogs. Big ones. They DON’T run and hide. I have, answered the doorbell, and told her multiple times, and she always looks at me like, “Why would he do that?”, and mumbles some apology. What she DOESN’T do is admonish him as we all stand there, him with a gleaming smile, because he has caused the dogs to go loudly APE-SH*T.

  5. mina Says:

    I can so understand you. I went to a pilates class for a while together with a friend. At first I liked the teacher a lot. We got talking and i told her that i’d just split up with my ex and was very unhappy about being childless and at first she was really understanding and helpful and told me that she was childless-not-by-choice herself.
    But over the course of the months she really started to get on my nerves. She chattered all the way through class about anything really. I just couldn’t concentrate.
    Also she kept making remarks about the other womens children, how giving birth/being a mother affects your body etc……there was one man in the class and at one point she even included him in this “this exercise is good for all of you mommies… most of you are mommies, aren’t you? Oh well- there’s Andrew – but he counts as well, he’s a dad”. This kind of thing made me feel so bad but it’s so subtle you can’t really say anything, can you? After a while i even got the feeling she wanted to get rid of me (when I said i would be away during summer, she kind of assumed that i would already be gone in April….). I started to build a theory that she actually teaches pilates class (which will invariably be full of mommies) to compensate for her own childlessness and through the other women participate in the “mommy world”, and that my presence was a constant reminder to her that there are women who are childless not by choice, and that she herself was one of them.
    When my theory got to that point I thought I was going crazy. She then managed to cross my (mommy!) friend as well so we changed classes and are now happy in another class with a teacher who is very strict but not talking at all 🙂

  6. Kathleen Says:

    I also have a non-child related whine.
    .
    I am becoming a recluse and I really don’t go out much (it’s sad, but it is what it is). Yesterday I had to meet with a potential client and coming home, as I stepped off the bus, I went down like a sack of potatoes onto the cement and bloodied my knee and shin.
    .
    This is why I don’t go out much. Stuff like this happens.
    .
    Though I did get hired me for some part-time research work 🙂

  7. Klara Says:

    can’t believe how unprofessional it is to talk during fitness class about teething toddler!
    I wish to this lady a terrible empty nest syndrom in 20 years time. I will for sure not be suffering it 🙂

  8. Mali Says:

    A non-child related whine. Pain. I’m in pain, and have been for five days now. My doc and I are trying to get it sorted, but it’s hard, and horrible. It’s times like these I ask “why me? What did I do to the universe to get both infertility and this?”

  9. stelli Says:

    When I was first trying to come to term with my childlessness, going to the gym was one of the place I could go without being confronted with babies or their mothers. I would have ran away from such a class.

  10. 1nonmom Says:

    UGH! Whine, whine, whine…. at work the other day, talking about my husband. Then I get “when y’all have kids they will look just like you.” I responded that we couldn’t have children and that I was nearly 43. “Lots of people have kids in their 40s,” she said, “you could still have them.” “Yes,” I said. “But we can’t… it’s not a possibility.” Why in the pluperfect hell do people feel compelled to tell me things like that? I SAID WE CAN’T! BACK OFF!!!


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