Life Without Baby

Filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

My “Expressing Motherhood” Performance May 12, 2011

For the past two weeks I’ve been performing in a show called Expressing Motherhood. In case you’re new to this blog, you can follow along with the story of how this came about in these posts:

Expressing Motherhood

Expressing Motherhood Report

Expressing Motherhood: Part III

Telling My Story

The show closed on Saturday night and I have to tell you that it was quite an experience. I performed alongside 12 mothers and one brave man, who offered stories – and songs – about motherhood in all its forms. And then there was me, telling my story about my relationship with motherhood.

The cast was really wonderful and so supportive of what I was aiming to do. They each said something encouraging, and several even commented that my story had given them a better understanding about infertility and the ongoing emotions involved. For that alone, it was worth it.

My story was second-to-last in the line-up, and I think it had the most impact there, after all the stories from the mothers (the lone man closed the show with a story about his own mother, which was perfect.) I got several kind compliments from audience members after the show, and although it’s hard to tell from the stage, I think that my story went down well.

After the show closed, I went through a few days of questioning my decision to get up there and put it all out for the world to see. Some of those feelings prompted yesterday’s “I don’t want to talk about this anymore” post, but overall, I’m pleased that the producers chose to include my story as another (often overlooked) facet of motherhood, and I’m pleased with the response it got.

So, for those of you who expressed an interest in seeing the show, here is my performance in Expressing Motherhood.


28 Responses to “My “Expressing Motherhood” Performance”

  1. Jen Says:

    You go, Lisa! What a great job. It took such courage to stand there and tell your story, and in such a compelling way too.

    I stumbled on your site/blog a few weeks ago and have been reading every day. I felt like I was so alone in my journey and it is so good to have a place of understanding. I am childfree by both circumstance and choice and so many people don’t seem to understand the “choice.” So thank you for telling your story and for starting this site/blog.

  2. IrisD Says:

    You were brilliant… and so representative of what is in my own heart and mind. Thank you for giving us a voice! I know that keeping up with the blog, writing the book, putting it all out there for the public, has to keep this issue very much alive for you, and that you don’t wantthis to define who you are, because it isn’t. You are so much more! Butat the same time, I’m so glad you have done it.

  3. Tara Says:

    Lisa that was absolutley beautiful……..You said everything that we are all thinking, with grace and a sense of humor. Well done!!

  4. Jenny Says:

    That was brilliant! I only wish it was on tv so everyone could see it. I have a somewhat similar story to yours, and your telling brought tears to my eyes. I’d like to play your video every time someone tells me that I should be next to have a baby!

  5. Laura Nye Says:

    What a great performance! I’m so happy you shared it with us and represented us in the Expressing Motherhood show.

  6. Jamie Says:

    Lisa- I have to tell you that I truly loved your performance. I definitely think you added so much to the overall show. I also appreciate where you are coming from because in a very real way you ARE a mother, because you have a mother’s heart. Please don’t second-guess putting yourself out there. It was definitely worth it to those of us in the audience.

    BTW, I’m Lorelei’s friend who met you while eating Cuban food! I think we had a brief chat about the Royal Wedding 🙂

  7. HR Hughes Says:

    I’m so proud of you! Firstly for supporting me when I was in the show and 2ndly and most importantly for doing the show and sharing your amzingness wiht a whole new group of people. You are a rock star!

  8. Kelly Says:

    Wow, that was full of impact. No wonder you feel like you don’t want to talk about it anymore, that must have been emotionally draining every time. I say take a break and focus on enjoying the happy fun parts of your life for awhile. You certainly deserve it.

    And I want to thank you for standing up and sharing your story; it was very courageous and I’m grateful for all your words.

  9. loribeth Says:

    Lisa, this was just wonderful!! I too had tears in my eyes at the end. Obviously, I haven’t seen the rest of the show, but I think including your story, and towards the very end, probably added a great deal to the impact of the overall program. Bravo!!

  10. ChrisP Says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your performance on your blog. It was so well done and so courageous of you to put our your (and the rest of us) truth out. Bravo!

  11. Mali Says:

    Oh my. That was beautiful. By the end, you had the audience, I could tell. You had me at “don’t I have a right to have an opinion?”

  12. Elizabeth Says:

    Lisa — I got here through the Expressing Motherhood link on Facebook. I performed in their Boston show. This is so beautiful and impactful and full of grace and humor. Wow!

  13. Sue Says:

    I was so excited when I saw your video performance attached to this post!!! You were WONDERFUL!!! BRAVO!!! I love how you touched on so many key points in the piece so perfectly. Your story in no way said “pity me” it said “consider me.” Which is what I am sure most of us are only asking for, a little more consideration. And maybe, just maybe, some of the audience members will think twice before blurting out so many of those things we, the IF community, cringes at.

    “Jose + Donor Egg – Lisa – Love”…BRILLIANTLY PUT!!! That is EXACTLY how I feel about my own situation.

  14. loribeth Says:

    I’ve nominated this post for the Stirrup Queen’s Friday Roundup Second Helpings feature this week (in the comments section). : )

  15. Kathryn Says:

    Oh, well done Lisa! That was just perfect. Thank you for sharing this. 🙂

  16. lmanterfield Says:

    Ladies, thank you so much for your unbelievable support and your kind words. I am really touched by your response to this. Thank you.

    Sending out giant cyber-hugs to you all today. -x-

  17. Gail K Says:

    Wow! I can honestly say that your video is one of the best ones that I’d seen in a long time. I applaud you for being brave enough to take on this role and appreciate your candidness.

    I’m here from the weekly Round-up on the Stirrup Queen’s Blog.

  18. happynenes Says:

    Yes, you go! I agree, an incredibly brave and honorable thing to do! Thank you for speaking out for our silent sorority.

  19. Lee Cockrum Says:

    Thanks for sharing the video. I am glad I got to see it. You did a fabulous job! It is so hard for me to express myself when people ask me, or in various situations when infertility, or my not having children comes up. A large part of the problem is that I generally start to cry. But it is so very hard to hear the statements that I don’t know what it is like or that I don;t really know about children, when I have worked with babies and children full time for the last 25 years of my life. In addition to being the oldest of 5, and many babysitting jobs.

  20. Your story hit close to home with me and thanks for sharing. My husband and I picked out kid’s names long before I found out I was infertile. When you talked about the children that live in your heart, it touched me deeply, I feel the same way and I even wrought them a letter apologizing that I was never able to create them. My world does not seem so small anymore.

  21. Wow Lisa! Just now getting the chance to watch this. You were AWESOME! Everything you expressed was right down the line how I feel. Thank you for having the courage to stand up and do this! BRAVO!

  22. Esperanza Says:

    Wow. That was wonderful. Thank you for giving your experience (and the experience of so many others) a voice in that space. And thank you for sharing it with us. Thank you.

  23. stinkbomb Says:

    absolutely fabulous and so very very honest and true. i found myself nodding several times throughout. thank you for putting your voice, our voice, out there.


  24. Amel Says:

    New here…stumbled on your blog and saw the video clip. BRILLIANT!!!!! I just posted it in my Facebook he he he…:-D

  25. DAK Says:

    BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You should be so proud, thank you! Wish it would come to Chicago.

  26. Maria Says:

    I just watched your video and was so moved, you expressed all the feelings I went through when I was diagnosed as infertile. Thank you for this website – I wish I had found out years ago. It’s been years since I was diagnosed and I am in a much better place living childfree (my decision based upon the same rationale as you). Even so, this website has been such a help to me and my husband. Knowing there are people that feel the same way we do. Thank you!

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