Life Without Baby

Filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Another Voice for the Childless-Not-By-Choice March 19, 2011

We’ve long bemoaned the lack of media coverage for the childless and childfree. I know that I’ve complained several times about “safe” magazines, such as Runner’s World springing unexpected parenting articles on me in between the shoe reviews and training programs.


So, when I was asked recently to contribute some thoughts about childfree/childless/infertility blogs for a sidebar to an article about the mommy blog phenomenon, I was understandably hesitant.


Well, the article came out in BITCH Magazine this month (Spring ’11) and I must say that I’m thrilled. After the main Mommy Blog article was a FULL PAGE article entitled Barren Bloggers in Breederville!


OK, not the most flattering of monikers, especially considering one of the bloggers mentioned now has twins, but right up there, flying the flag for the “life after infertility” crowd was Silent Sorority’s Pamela – and yours truly.


And Hallelujah, if the author didn’t make a point of mentioning that some women choose a life path that doesn’t include motherhood, and that (and I quote) “Infertility and adoption experts stress that [adoption] is not a universal solution,” especially for “emotionally and financially drained” infertility patients, hesitant to “embark on yet another uncertain journey.” Honestly, I could kiss the author for getting those words into print. In fact I am considering printing them out and keeping them in my pocket for the next time someone asks if we ever considered adoption before deciding to live childfree.


Anyway, I’m keeping an eye open for the article popping up online, and when it does, I will most definitely be posting it here.


Sisters, if we just keep talking, eventually, we will be heard. –x-


5 Responses to “Another Voice for the Childless-Not-By-Choice”

  1. sewforward Says:

    I applaud the acknowledgement of those of us who have a life after living through the cesspool of infertilty/adoption nightmares. I hope that those who are currently embarking on this perilous path of infertility look toward the online community for information and on-line fellowship. This forum and forums like this didn’t exist when we were wading into the waters of infertility treatments and I think that if I had known that I wasn’t alone I would not have hurt so much. I really applaud what you and others like you have done. It takes a LOT of courage to open up and admit to infertility and even more courage to go one and live your life to the fullest.

  2. Mali Says:

    Awesome. I love those words too. Can’t wait to see the article. You should be very proud of the profile you’ve developed in only a year!

  3. C Says:

    What a perfectly frank and brief response to the adoption salve suggested by so many who are well-meaning but clearly haven’t given it a moment’s though.

    ICLW 47

  4. Elena Says:

    I only just realized today – while writing in another online forum – that this is it, this is the response – to the well-meaning people around us but also to ourselves. it just nails it. yes, there are “ways”. and there is a great “but”: they’re all a journey, not a direct solution. and an uncertain one. and that after all the emotional (and maybe financial) drain.

    Congrats Lisa, really! Amazing!

  5. lmanterfield Says:

    Thanks everyone. I was really pleased with the article. I will definitely post it when it’s available online. Thanks so much for all the great support.

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