Life Without Baby

Filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

IComLeavWe February 2011 February 21, 2011

I’ll say right up front here that, while I’ve been aware of the existence of Melissa Ford and her Stirrup Queens blog for a number of years, I’ve always stayed away.

One of the hardest parts of coming to terms with being childless is the constant lure of the miracle treatment. I know I’m over it, and I understand that some precise combination of yoga, asparagus, and ground yak horn is not going to fix my dodgy ovaries, but I can never help thinking what if? For this reason, I’ve steered clear of any fertility websites that are still in the TTC mode.

Regardless, I ventured over to Stirrup Queens recently and was pleasantly surprised to find that Mel now has a whole section of blogs devoted to living childfree after infertility, and that some of my favorite blogettes have their sites listed.

So, this week is IComLeaveWe, or International Comment Leaving Week, on Stirrup Queens. There’s a full explanation here:  [link] but basically, the idea is to support this community of bloggers by posting comments of five blogs every day for the week of February 21-28 (plus replying to one comment on your own blog, if you have one.)

So, in the spirit of community, I will be lurking around the blogosphere this week, catching up on what others are doing. Here is Mel’s list of blogs that are covering the “childfree after infertility” point of view. I plan to visit these and others on my own blogroll, and bring back my favorites to share.

  1. A Fresh Start
  2. Apron Strings for Emily
  3. BarrenChemist
  4. Barren, Broken, and Beginning Again
  5. (NOT) Coming to a Uterus Near You
  6. Coming2Terms
  7. Crashing, Burning, & Getting Back Up
  8. The Fertile Soul
  9. Forever Reaching
  10. La Belette Rouge
  11. Life Without Baby
  12. Making Toy Soldiers
  13. The Miss Ruby
  14. My So-Called Life
  15. my whole is greater than the sum of my parts
  16. My Words Fly Up, My Thoughts Remain Below
  17. No Kidding in NZ
  18. Plan B: Family of Two
  19. That Girl with Endo
  20. Upon Awakening…

If your blog isn’t listed, please add it here and I’ll put it on my tour.

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14 Responses to “IComLeavWe February 2011”

  1. Illanare Says:

    Thank you for including me in your tour!

  2. Krissi Says:

    Welcome to ICLW! I am glad you’re on the list! I applaud your strength! I just added your book to my virtual book shelf and I’ll be adding a new section to my blogroll of “living child-free” with your blog and this list! So thanks! I am glad you are willing to share your story so openly. I look forward to reading your book!
    BTW, I just featured your blog!

  3. […] book, I’m Taking My Eggs and Going Home which I just added to my virtual bookshelf. She has a welcome ICLW post (which she admits she used to avoid) and she is happy to support other women who are coming to […]

  4. loribeth Says:

    For some reason, Mel has me listed in the stillbirth category of her amazing blogroll. I keep meaning to ask her to move me over to childfree, since that better reflects my current status. I haven’t looked at the blogroll in awhile, & I’m glad to see “our” section has grown so much!

  5. Julie Says:

    Wow, that list has grown quite a lot in the past year or so! I remember looking at it shortly before and after we did IVF, and there were very few.

    If you want to add mine, my title is Plan C.

  6. lmanterfield Says:

    Ladies,
    Please don’t be shy. If your blog is not on this list, PLEASE post a link in the comments so I can post an updated list later in the week as well as make sure I pay a visit. 🙂

  7. Rach Says:

    thankyou for including me on your list!!

    i recently got Mel to move my blog over to living childfree 1. because we are and 2. because that list was looking very sad, we need to swell our ranks, surely there are more of us out there?

    ~x~

  8. Kathleen Guthrie Says:

    I checked out a few, and they all seem to be about living childfree due to infertility. Let us (me) know if you find any about living childfree due to choice or life circumstances. Fun to see everyone connecting.

  9. Julia Says:

    You know, I feel like a bit of an outsider on ICOMLEAVWE, because I didn’t struggle with infertility. People assume I did, because I have twins, but I’m just blessed with a family littered with twins, so genetics were on my side.

    When I do the ICLW, I have to weed through all kinds of abbreviations that I have NO idea what most of them mean. BUT–I think it’s important to branch out–to immerse myself in a different community. It’s easy to think your own community is all there is, and all that matters. When I feel overwhelmed with being a mama, it’s important to read that others are struggling because they want desperately just to BE a mama. Or that others struggle to find that ingredient that perfects a decedent cheesecake. We all struggle, and we all seek community. It’s the blog world wonderful for that?

    Best wishes to you. I’m looking forward to reading your book!

    • Esperanza Says:

      Hello! I’m here from ICLW. Just wanted to say hi. I can imagine your reasons for staying away. That is a wonderful community but it can also be a double edged sword. I’m glad you’re finding your place there, even if it’s not perfect. I hope you participate in other ICLWs!

  10. Kim Says:

    This is Kim… found you through ICLW. :o) I’ll be sure to check out your book.

    Come join us at the The Ladies in Waiting Book Club if you would like to meet new friends.

    We’re a group of ladies, all surviving IF treatments… reading books and making conversation. :o) All are welcome.

  11. Lily Says:

    Hi Lisa – please include http://www.TheInfertileMind.com. I e-mailed Mel to add me to the list but guess I’m not there yet. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing this list and I’ll definitely do the same.

  12. […] book, I’m Taking My Eggs and Going Home which I just added to my virtual bookshelf. She has a welcome ICLW post (which she admits she used to avoid) and she is happy to support other women who are coming to […]

  13. […] book, I’m Taking My Eggs and Going Home which I just added to my virtual bookshelf. She has a welcome ICLW post (which she admits she used to avoid) and she is happy to support other women who are coming to […]


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