Life Without Baby

Filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Finding My Passion Again October 12, 2010

Two Champion Cyclists!

This past weekend I took part in a big organized bike event. Along with my husband, mother, and some good friends, I pedaled my old Trek through 35 miles of beautiful Wine Country. It was a tough ride and I wasn’t quite as fit as I should have been, but still, I made it up the grueling two-mile-long hill, down the wild descent on the other side, and then turned around and went back over the same hill—wild climb up and grueling two-miles down! By the end I was exhausted, ready for the complimentary cold beer and mountain of paella, a hot shower and a long nap. And I did all of those things and THEN went out for beer and fish and chips with my family and friends. It was a fantastic day.

The ride reminded me how much I love biking and running, how much I used to enjoy training and participating in events. Somewhere in the mess of trying to become a mother, I lost sight of this. The ride inspired me to do more, to find other events and train to participate. And I can do that. I can get up early and go for runs; I can take an entire Saturday morning to go for a long training bike ride; and then I can do an all-day event and conk out on the couch in peace for the rest of the afternoon.  In short, I can do the things that please me, because the only other person I have to consider is my husband, and he’s a big boy who can choose to come along with me or stay home and entertain himself. Right now, I am grateful for this freedom to do something good for myself.

What about you? Over the years, what have you pushed aside that used to make you happy?  What haven’t you done for a long time that you could do now? And what would it take to do those things again?


3 Responses to “Finding My Passion Again”

  1. mina Says:

    fact is, i didn’t push aside. But that now makes me feel guilty. Maybe if i had taken more time to listen to my Ex… maybe if i hadn’t tried to squeeze in baby making between all my activities… maybe if i had focused more on baby than on the job…. i know on the other hand that this is just silly and will make me feel down and i’m thankful for having other stuff than being a “maybe-mother” to identify with. But sometimes we get irrational.
    So, good for you, go ahead and start living your passions!

  2. Colleen Says:

    I have to say that I completely relate to this post!!!!!!! Even right down to the running and biking being pushed aside. I used to love to push myself to the limit running. My last race was a 5K almost 3 1/2 years ago. We are not completely done with TTC but I have to say I almost look at the end as a light at the end of the tunnel. I can see the day when I will be able to run whenever I want, as far as I want, and as fast as I want without the guilt that I am destroyed this month of trying. We have been biking the last couple of years & my DH pushed me to buy a new bike. I was so hesitant because I thought it would be such a waste of money when we had a baby. But there is no baby and I do very much enjoy my bike. It is more of a speed/road bike and I could certainly use it to ride my dream century (or at least a metric century!) or maybe a tri.

  3. lmanterfield Says:

    Thanks ladies. Life is a balancing act, isn’t it?

    Mina, it did me no good whatsover pushing my passions aside, in fact I think it hurt me in many ways, including my mental health. When no baby came, I had nothing left to fall back on.

    Colleen, I’m cheering for you either way, for baby and for your dream century! In fact I’n cheering for both. Why not?

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