Life Without Baby

Filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Whiny Wednesday: Tired of Media Exclusion September 29, 2010

My TIME magazine just arrived. On the cover is the silhouette of a naked pregnant woman. I put the magazine face down on the table and I refuse to read it. The sight of a pregnant woman does not make me envious or pine for motherhood; I’m just tired of having motherhood pushed at me endlessly.

Last month’s Runner’s World met the same fate with its double features on pregnant runners and the best baby joggers on the market. My longtime subscription to this magazine is in jeopardy as they continue to aim more and more articles at parents, leaving non-parents flipping the pages looking for something relatable.

There are magazines galore for parents and mothers-to-be. Is it too much to ask for my news and hobbies to be safe havens?

It’s Whiny Wednesday. What’s rubbing you the wrong way today?

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15 Responses to “Whiny Wednesday: Tired of Media Exclusion”

  1. mina Says:

    of course i understand what you mean.
    But: Did you LOOK for a magazine on your hobby ;-)?

  2. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Aimee Valle, Lisa Manterfield. Lisa Manterfield said: Whiny Wednesday: Tired of Media Exclusion: http://wp.me/pQCEv-h0 […]

  3. monica Says:

    I refuse to get an iphone because of the new series of commericals they released that were all about pregnancy/birth announcements via their video application.

  4. Kathleen Guthrie Says:

    Saw that TIME in the airport this weekend — and chose not to buy it based only on the cover image. And I stopped buying More magazine b/c I couldn’t relate to the empty nesting articles. Hey, advertisers: I have money to spend (partly b/c I’m not paying to raise kids) and I’m choosing to spend it elsewhere!

    Oprah’s magazine seems to have good balance. And isn’t she one of us?

  5. Lily Says:

    Hmmm…maybe this is why I only read business magazines. So true, those bellies are lurking everywhere.

  6. Robin Says:

    I was frustrated yesterday by The VIew ladies’ lack of excitement about their Resolve award. Sherri Shepherd accepted the award on behalf of the show hosts, which was given for an hour-long episode devoted to infertility. Apparently the show was taped while Barbara Walters was out having her heart surgery because she said something to the effect of, “Why do these women feel a stigma? I couldn’t have children and I didn’t feel a stigma.” The ensuing banter went downhill from there. I think Resolve should take back the award!

    • lmanterfield Says:

      Robin, that noise you hear is me beating my head against the wall. So pleased for Barbara that hasn’t experienced that stigma. I guess the rest of us must be imagining it then. Sigh.

  7. happynenes Says:

    Have you thought about writing a letter to the editors of these publications?

    I belong to a nurses’ association for women’s health nurses. I wrote the president an email asking if they would consider acknowledging infertility week on their website. They failed to acknowledge infertility week, but sent out an email acknowledging mothers day. (I don’t have anything against mother’s day, but I think infertility also has a place in women’s health nursing.) So, I sent another email to the President. She called me personally and apologized!

    We have power as consumers.

    BTW, as an OB nurse, I think it’s a terrible idea for pregnant women to run. We see women all the time for falls – observation for abruption. Not to mention the risk of overheating, or preterm labor caused by dehydration. Not to mention that ligaments become more flexible during pregnancy, increasing risk for injury. I think that matter right there might merit a poison pen letter.

    • lmanterfield Says:

      I draft a letter in my head every single time, but have I sent it? What do you think? OK, three strikes and Runner’s World is out. If there is one single article next month I’m doing it! Of course, I didn’t read the article but judging by the cover I’m guessing it was a positive article.

  8. Jodi Says:

    It’s no longer Wednesday but I’m going to whine anyhow. FB is driving me nuts… so many pregnancy announcements lately, and I had one friend gush all about how the chinese gender predictor just announced she is having a girl, and of course it was right with her first one (who is only a year old) but she is only 10 weeks so she has to wait 29 more to find out…

    SHUT UP!!!!!

    • Sue Says:

      Jodi – I’m right there with you. I realized today being October 1st that the dreaded cute kids in pumpkin patches and trick or treating pictures would be showing up soon on Facebook. They tortured me last year. I’ve already hid “friends” I’m not close with to cut down on the pics I’ll have to see.

    • Mali Says:

      Jodi – have you seen this website? I discovered it recently, and love the hilarious comments about the self-obsessed on Facebook!! http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/

      • mina Says:

        mh… Mali i checked that website out but i don’t find it hilarious. It’s a real hate-site.
        I think the use of facebook requires another kind of discussion than that. Sure i checked it out because as a CNBC-Person i sometimes feel hurt or often simply molested by other peoples fb-posts about their kids. So i was real interested in this site. But it got me thinking:
        But then, they are my friends, real and in facebook. Kids are part of their life. Its my responsibility to block their posts if i don’t want to see the kid-posts. If they are GOOD friends I can comment or just talk to them in REAL LIFE (yes!) about why some of those posts go too far. If i think people are so annoying, why should i leave them on the friend list? A lot of “friends” post a lot of rubbish and i don’t go hating them for it. The procedure is the same, it’s me using fb not them forcing me to read all that.

  9. lmanterfield Says:

    And Mina, there’s is a certain thrill to hitting that Block button too. I imagine those people out there rabbiting on mindlessly, oblivious to the fact that I am no longer listening. 🙂

    • mina Says:

      Well despite of what i wrote, of course it’s not always easy to handle fb. mainly because i want to see what people are up to – even those with kids :-).
      A while ago i got really fed up with it and i posted on my own pinboard “when will i get my facebook-baby-photo filter?”, hoping that it was a humourous way of telling people that it can go a little too far. The result of which was a personal message from a friend i hadn’t seen in ages. She immediately understood that there was “something” behind it and i got talking to her about being childless not by choice. It’s only then that i learned that she had divorced her first husband because she had developed a very strong wish for a second child which wouldn’t come and they separated over that. It was nice to find out i actually have a friend who understands… of course on the other hand that doesn’t stop her posting photos of the, by now, 3 kids she has with her second husband 🙂


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