Life Without Baby

Filling the silence in the motherhood discussion

Blindsided March 28, 2010

Filed under: The Childfree Life: Issues and Attitudes — Life Without Baby @ 12:01 am
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Not long after we decided that we wouldn’t have children together, my husband and I needed a nice relaxing evening out and headed for the movies. We decided to see Up.

For those of you who missed it, Up is a light, funny Disney/Pixar movie about an old man and a boy scout who tie balloons to a house and float away to find paradise—at least according to the trailers. So, there’s no reason that two grown people should ball like a couple of babies through the entire thing, but that’s what my husband and I did. For those of you who have seen the movie, I’m sure you understand. Turns out this “kid’s” movie is much deeper than that. It’s all about lost opportunities, misunderstandings, and what constitutes a life of adventure.

It’s also about a couple who were never able to have children together. We were blindsided. At that time we were far more vulnerable than we realized having just been through five years of infertility and we just weren’t ready to have our lives paraded in front of us in the form of animated characters.

Sometimes, movies turn a mirror on our lives; sometimes they make us face our demons; and sometimes they show us a life we’re glad we passed up. That year, we chose to see Knocked Up and left feeling resentful. We opted not to see Juno or the ludicrous Baby Mama. Reading books like Jodi Picoult’s 19 Minutes  makes me realize what a dicey game raising children can be and reconfirmed that I made a good decision. But Up caught me off guard and for a while it made me think that I could have had a different life and maybe it would have been good.

Which movies or books have made you question or reaffirm your decision to not have children? Leave a comment or hop onto a forum and let us know.

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One Response to “Blindsided”

  1. Jan Says:

    I’m a 3rd grade teacher, and about 4 years ago my district adopted (yes, adopted is the word they use) a new reading series. One of the last stories is called Mother to Tigers. I am confident enough in my abilities as a teacher, & it was at the end of the school year, that I did not preview that story before reading it with my class. It was about a woman who cared for baby animals in her home, until they were able to go to the zoo. That’s about the extent of the reviews on the book that I read.

    This book did not make me question or affirm any decision about having/not having children, but it did blindside me. The beginning of the story mentions that this woman and her husband were unable to have children. Thankfully I was far enough past the reality of never having a child that I was able to mask my emotions with my class.


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